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“Have You Ever Known a Place Where God Would Have Felt at Home?”
I finished reading The Name of the Rose a few weeks ago and decided I absolutely had to watch the 1986 film adaptation, mostly because it starred Sean Connery and Christian Slater as detective monks,...
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“Since When Do You Have to Tell The Enemy When He Has Won?”
So, I didn’t see Ender’s Game in theater. But my friend Robyn did, and she’s here to tell you all about it while I kick back and drink a mimosa or something. -C.S. Ender’s Game is my favorite book. I...
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“Well, OBVIOUSLY, Participation is No Longer Voluntary.”
Happy Valentine’s Day, people. Please put your candy and/or sweetheart aside and come along with me on our continued snarky journey through bad horror movies. Today we’ll be concluding Bloody Hearts...
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“IT HAS BEGUN!”
Obsessively watching Teen Wolf and Sheriff Johnny Cage reminded me of something last week: I have never actually written a review for Mortal Kombat. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, yes. But Mortal Kombat...
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“I Am Groot!”
Guardians of the Galaxy came out last Friday. Obviously, that was too long to wait, so I saw it at 7:00 on Thursday instead. I had a few problems with the movie, mostly minor, but overall I had a...
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“A Half-Finished Book, After All, is a Half-Finished Love Affair.”
I never had much interest in watching Cloud Atlas. I didn’t read the book, and while the trailer looked somewhat intriguing, everything I heard about the story itself kind of made the movie sound like...
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“Wow, You’re a Winner, Ain’t Ya?”
Halloween is my favorite holiday of the year. You get to dress up in fun costumes, have an excuse to eat junk food that you were going to eat anyway, and watch a bunch of scary movies. Also, it’s not a...
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“All Right, You’ve Got Me Convinced. I’m a Real Stinker.”
Mekaela and I have designated this November as Mystery Month, for reasons that I’ve already forgotten. So it seems the right time to jump back into those noir films I’m continuously behind on. I like...
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“If We Burn, You’ll Burn With Us!”
So, I have this ongoing quest: I would like, just once, to go see a movie when my friends and I are the only people in the theater. I don’t know why this is my quest, considering there are...
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“I Am Turning Thirty Next Week, and I Just Want to Go Home and Grow Oranges!”
A few months ago, I went to San Francisco. I don’t make it out to SF all that much, primarily because I don’t have a car and it’s a long damn bus ride. But when I do go, I usually try to get in a trip...
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“Manners Maketh Man.”
The internet provides many things we once found elsewhere: rants, recipes, porn, personality quizzes. It’s the main place I look for movie news and trailers, so it’s pretty rare when I go to the...
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“I’m Not the Bad Guy.”
Netflix’s Daredevil comes out tomorrow and nerds ’round the world are pretty jazzed about it — all except me, it seems. Don’t get me wrong: I do plan to watch the series. I even figure I’ll probably...
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“Frankly, My Dear, I Don’t Give a Damn.”
So. I am way, way behind on my 2015 Best Picture Winner Challenge. Thus far, I’ve only watched one film and I didn’t care for it at all. I thought maybe I’d reward myself with a movie that — hopefully...
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“There Are No Strings On Me.”
It’s 10:00 p.m. Thursday night. I’m sitting in an aisle seat at the Roxy Theater and the Marvel credits have just started to play. My little hands are clasped loosely together. I can actually feel the...
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“Do You Know What Prime Numbers Are? Because If You Don’t, You Should Just...
So, math. It’s not my favorite thing in the world. I appreciate its significance. I enjoy a certain kind of logic puzzle. I even tried reading a book about calculus this year because it promised...
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“Shit Happens? That’s It? That’s What I Get? Fucking Wisdom?”
So, I’m a quitter. If I decide I don’t want to do something anymore, or it just isn’t worth my time, I’m done. I’m not terribly ashamed of this almost-certain character flaw, but it does sometimes come...
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“How Do We Blow It Up? There’s Always A Way To Do That.”
All right, people. After several days of frantically dodging spoilers on social media, I FINALLY saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens. The more I think about it, the more I find small flaws and nitpicks,...
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“I’m A Person and My Name Is Anakin!”
A side effect of falling hard for any particular fandom means that you will spend far too much of your time investigating any and all avenues of it. I fall in and out of love with fandoms the way most...
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“We Need More Teeth.”
When Jurassic World came out last year, I was not particularly interested. I really like Jurassic Park, despite the fact that it totally scared me when I was a kid, as I had not quite yet become the...
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“Comets Don’t Make Course Corrections.”
I still haven’t quite gotten around to seeing the not-exactly-critically-beloved Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. (I’m not particularly jazzed about going, either, but I do want to check it out for...
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