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“I’m Too Old For This Shit.”
We don’t really go for the inspirational Christmas films in the St. George household. For instance . . . Yeah, it’s totally a Christmas movie. DISCLAIMER: Spoilers. I’ve been doing a lot of reviews...
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“Sorry. I Couldn’t Resist.”
So, I’m a giant Quentin Tarantino nerd. Above my desk is a Pulp Fiction poster. To my right is a Death Proof one. I have seen every feature-length film Tarantino has directed, every feature-length film...
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“It Must Feel Like Your God Abandoned You.”
Just before I went to Clarion West last summer, a little movie called Prometheus came out. Some of my fellow classmates went to see this movie that first weekend, while I skipped out — I was tired and,...
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“When the Legend Becomes Fact, Print the Legend.”
Well, I guess it’s about time I start watching some westerns. On IMDB’s Top 250 Movies of all Time, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance currently sits at the #207 spot and, well. I probably wouldn’t place...
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“To Hell With Dignity. I’ll Leave When the Job’s Done.”
When it comes to James Bond, I’m fairly ambivalent. I find a handful of the Sean Connery movies enjoyable enough – Goldfinger might be my favorite, or at least the one that sticks out the most in my...
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“While You Were Still Learning How to Spell Your Name, I Was Being Trained to...
All right, folks. The Day of Reckoning has come. Some of you may remember that I failed last year’s horror film challenge and, as a result, invited you to choose my punishment movie. You chose...
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“You Can’t Have My Heart.”
After the, ah, experience that was Batman & Robin, my friends and I went looking for a new drinking game movie. The final pick? It wasn’t quite as bad as I was expecting, probably because I’m still...
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“That’s Right, Bitches. I’ve Got a Crossbow.”
I’ve been on a Chris Evans kick lately, so I decided to watch The Losers again. It’s definitely a problematic movie, but I enjoy it all the same. And Chris Evans isn’t even the only reason! (Though,...
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“Kiss Me, Fat Boy!”
Back for more Scary Clown action? Here it is . . . the rest of It! DISCLAIMER: SERIOUS, MONDO SPOILERS for Part I, Part II, and the book itself. Also, I’m going to compare the miniseries to the book...
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“Come At Me. Every Inch of Me Will Resist You.”
When my friend Robyn came to visit, we attempted to watch Coons! Night of the Bandits of the Night, and barely made it through the trailers before giving up. (So, Rob? Congratulations. You broke me. I...
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“You Know, It’s Moments Like These When I Realize What a Superhero I Am.”
Ladies and gentlemen, the return of Tony Stark . . . I haven’t completely made up my mind about a few things yet, but for the most part, I had a pretty great time watching this. SUMMARY: After the...
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“The Owls Are Not What They Seem.”
I’ve probably mentioned this before, but when it comes to movies and television, I get spoiled for everything. It’s partially my own fault: I read entertainment sites and top ten lists for fun, but...
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“Today We Are Canceling The Apocalypse!”
Giant robots fighting giant monsters? Guillermo del Toro behind the camera? Idris Elba in front of it? One reasonably-priced matinee ticket for Pacific Rim, please. SUMMARY: In the fairly-near future,...
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“You’re Either SWAT or You’re Not.”
It’s been far too long since I reviewed a mindless action flick. Like, it’s been at least a month, right? I’ve seen S.W.A.T. at least a dozen times since it came out ten years ago. It remains one of my...
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“Back-Up Plans Are For People Who Expect to Fail.”
I’ve been on a pretty big superhero kick lately — even more so than usual — so I decided to try out a low-budget indie film called All Superheroes Must Die. There’s definitely potential here....
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“Are You Sure It Isn’t Time for a Colorful Metaphor?”
It’s time for another installment of Carlie is The Worst Little Trekkie in the World. I finally got around to watching Star Trek: The Voyage Home. It’s . . . not my favorite. DISCLAIMERS: There will be...
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“He’s Killing Me! He’s Killing Me!”
It’s October, so I figured it was time to go back to my favorite campy series that centers around an actual camp: Friday the 13th. Today, we’ll be talking about the fourth movie: The Final Chapter. The...
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“I Guess There’s No Such Thing as Safe Sex with a Werewolf.”
Continuing on with bad horror films . . . There’s a sliver of a decent movie somewhere inside Cursed, but it’s mostly buried under worthless characters, inconsistent humor, and a pretty weak lead...
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“Well Done. You’ve Just Decapitated Your Grandfather.”
I’ve been pretty much obsessed with The Avengers since I first saw it in 2012, so I knew I’d get around to seeing Thor: The Dark World at some point, despite the fact that Thor is easily my least...
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“I’m In The Red Car!
So, my parents? Not real strict about what kind of movies I could watch as a kid. And by “not real strict,” I mean I don’t think there actually were any rules, not of any kind. To be fair to them,...
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